VPR Cast#95: “ihatemmorpgs.com”

Welcome to our 95th mmo podcast at mmoSmacktalk.com! Straight from Copenhagen, Sweden we have a fresh voice with a different perspective on mmos than you’re used to hearing. Please be aware that his opinions might cause you to spill your purse.

DISCLAIMER: This cast may induce nausea, vomiting, and prolonged erections. Listener discretion is advised.

About this ultra mmo podcast:
 Over 3 hours of Michael and I polluting the internet.
 Miguelito’s gaming background – heavy.
 His tweets… they’re funny. Read them – @mmorpgssuck
 Ultima Online – The Original Gangsta.
 Star Wars the Old Republic is Terrible.
 A whole lot of misc.

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Game Discussion and Analysis:

  • Darkfall Online (DFO): open pvp, full loot, loads of asses to kick.

87 thoughts on “VPR Cast#95: “ihatemmorpgs.com””

  1. Damn, now I have to give three hours of my life to listen to this podcast. I try not to torcher my listeners that much. LOL For sure the worst guest yet, LOL, J/K. Haven’t listened to it yet.

  2. Ultima 2 had time travel, space ships and airplanes. I remember stealing a laser gun and killing orcs. It was ground breaking at the time and amazing and yes Richard Garriot is bat shit insane.

  3. You might want to rethink the phrase” I don’t talk in absolutes” because that’s exactly what you do, but I agree with a lot of what you say. I disagree with your views on control in Eve because they are wrong. You can control your ship if you double click anywhere in space you will fly there. If you click on your guns they will shoot what is targeted.

    You need to think of Mortal Online as a work in progress. If your expecting a complete polished game you wont find it and they could do a better job of letting people know that. I think Mortal will eventually be the game we are all waiting for but its just not there yet. So play at your own risk.

    I am also looking forward to Salem despite the art style.

    Ryan I’m glad you brought this cat on your show because even though i disagree with some of what he says, he is looking for the same type of game that a lot of us are. And he speaks the truth about the utter shit that’s being put out now (SWtard). ihatemmorpg just gained another fan.

  4. I may give Mortal a shot, but you sort of hit the nail on the head in saying that it isn’t finished yet. A game that tries specifically to be realistic need to be even more careful about releasing an incomplete game. I’d prefer the type of goony graphics and perspective of Salem to the off-realism of Mortal simply because it isn’t trying to be something it will never be.

    On Eve, you sort of emphasized my point. You can tell the ship where to go, but it’s sort of dulled down click-to-move system and not at all engaging. Some of us have too much ADD to watch the game play itself. I was trying to avoid saying that you can’t shoot your guns because you can, but it never really feels like you’re doing it yourself.

  5. There is so much to like about Eve and like yourself have done the 14 day trail more than once. I do sometimes feel how you feel about watching the game play itself and that has always led to my departure. I am once again playing and have found a deeper connection to my ship and the controls but I’m only a few days into my re-sub. I hope to experience some of the epic stories of heard of the game.

  6. I simply can’t convince myself to play a game that I could never even have the potential of being good in. Due to the lack of caps, you’d probably have to buy an account from a veteran to be competitive.

  7. You are thinking of it in terms of a grind. You can take one path and stick with it and be decent at one thing. Also you don’t have to be the best. Enjoy the ride, find something you like to do and get other around you. I am actually trying to convince myself as I type this.

  8. First off the “taint” is the space between a dude’s asshole and balls. LOL http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=taint

    I am half way trhough this three hour cast and stuggeling to get trhough the rest of it because I love Ryan. :) ZOMG, Coolit and myself agree on something. We agree that I Hate MMORPGs does not talk in absolutes. The funny thing is that there is a bigger ass hole then myself. The difference is that I am not a bullshit artist! Just fucking say that that you never played Vanguard or Lin 2. BTW, Lin 2 only went F2P like a month or so. It’s ok to say I don’t know or I haven’t played that game. Also, I don’t understand WTF I Hate MMORPGs is saying half the time, as he doesn’t complete a full thought. It would have been a better intview if you were just honest and didn’t try to put on this persona. Once you said that you are a shrink, ZOMG that explains a lot about you. I haven’t got to the part about SWTOR yet but I am trying to hang in there to finish the cast. I would have liked to hear you be more objective and explain why you think a game is fail.

  9. I’ll be honest Ryan. I tried to get through the cast of your cast. Everyone I Hate MMORPGs spoke it was pure vomit. I couldn’t disgree with him more about what he wrote on SWTOR. I really wanted to hear what he said to say about SWTOR but you guys took to fucking long. It’s all good because in the end I don’t really care what I Hate MMORPGs has to say about anything. Every game/MMO is not for everyone. Like I said before it makes me jealous that there is a bigger asshole then myself out there blogging and talking about MMO’s. Feel free to lat the trolling begin, as I am not going to waste any more time in the comments section here.

  10. I beta tested Lineage 2, and I definitely did play Vanguard, but it didn’t make a particularly strong impression on me.

    The truth isn’t for everyone, obviously.

  11. @Coolit I really wanted to man. However, every time “I Hate MMORPGs” speaks if pure vomit. Honestly, he isn’t worth a jizz puddle of my time.

  12. While hearing a fresh perspective is always cool, seriously I realized after listening to this cast that people take games too seriously. Even I have at times and Ive realize that while yes I will always speak up about things a game should have I have broadened my perspective to realize that sometimes its just enough to have a place to relax in.

    For me its about what numbs your mind the best. I can’t stress myself out worrying about whose got the best game mechanics or what not I just want something I can use to make my brain cells dormant for a few hours. Coming from games from when it was just 8bit graphic lines bouncing a little 8bit graphic square back and forth (lol if you get the reference and yes I am that old fuckers) I can’t get all bent out of shape about graphics. Yeah there will be games I will probably avoid due to not being into the genre, But I was pleasantly surprised by Swtor I’m not even into star wars said it before on my show but at least its something to kill times which is what games are supposed to be about. As much fun as it is to hate (I am not against it trust me) I realized as I get even older that I just don’t need a perfect game just something that keeps my interest long enough to sink time into and relax.

  13. @Kalari – I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of taking anything too seriously. My tone was mostly a product of developing strep throat, but that’s neither here nor there.

    I did enjoy the nostalgia of SWTOR in the beginning, but that is because I was such a huge fan of Bioware’s title “Knights of the Old Republic”. My tolerance for little issues is inversely proportional to game development budget, and I found myself unable to cut the game any slack where I normally would.

    If you can enjoy the game, that’s awesome. That’s really the ultimate goal, right? I definitely agree that I expect too much out of games as I get older, but that’s only because of the rapid innovation that used to occur before graphics (and now voice acting) became the primary requisite of “quality”.

  14. Trust me I understand that when I finally got into mmos I went from wide eyed awe to angry at the simplist things not being added. I realized after a few years trying to find a game that had something for everyone to just find a game that can be interesting passed the character creation. For me right now stwor is fun not the best game ever but enough to make me try it. I go by my standard rule of not getting locked into a long subscription paying month to month so if I get bored I can drop sub and move on.

    I honestly wish the mmo I called home for years would get their act together ddo had enough things to hold my interest for nearly 5 years but they are a mess still. I am hoping their expansion this summer brings them out of that with them adding the one core class people wanted from 2005 out but I still have to wrestle with my angst on their micro transactions everywhere bs even when your a subscriber.

    Either way this was a good show I have been reading your site sorry I took the female gamer things seriously its an issue that burns me to this day (yeah being a little nutters dont help either). Seriously though I meant what I said liking the fresh perspective, I just realized that I used to focus so much on what makes an mmo that it became more of what I did instead of gaming. When I play console games I don’t put in that much effort into what could make them better, so im trying to be the same way with mmos its been easier to play now that I don’t think about them too much. I give myself a few months before my old persona is back though a cat can’t change its stripes.

  15. Okay I definitely like what you said at the end, its true I wish I still had the passion in me to fight the good fight. I think integrity in gaming is a good goal to fight for its just tiring to. Big game companies are really out for the dollars and even those who used to be niche realize that profits over uniqueness is their true goal.

    It is a sad state of affairs though but its really hard to stem the mentality of “its just a game” that phrase used to annoy me so much now I kinda see where it can be used at least to keep my blood pressure from spiking. I noticed approaching new mmos not taking them seriously has helped me just enjoy it. I will even agree the reason I am liking swtor is because I have been playing it like a stand alone solo game so far haven’t gotten into a group yet. Which is kinda sad for an mmo but its the only way I can play said games right now. still hoping for an mmo that makes socializing worth it and got threw the 3 hrs it was informative I would listen to Michael again and have a feeling your trying to get him and Yak together which may or may not be epic.

  16. I listened all the way to the end. I’m a fan of a lot of what you said. UO set the bar and no one has passed it or even tried to.

    I currently don’t play any MMO’s, but still waiting for UO2. :0)

  17. @ray ray: high five!
    @Yak: flying down to Tejas right now. You better run! :)

    @Trance104: Enjoy the wait 😀 Have you tried MO and/or DFO?

    @Kalari: RE “it’s just a game”… for me, that is just not true. Nothing is just a game. When you game you are choosing to spend your ONE LIFE (if reincarnation is true, we dont remember the other lives, so essentially you still only get one) engaging in that activity. So in the course of play, if somebody wastes your time (ie griefing, conning, bringing down your raid group) then it makes ample sense to feel real world anger. The only time (or something similar to the following) that it is just a game is when you consider taking a real life because you were griefed.

    At least that’s the way I see the “it’s just a game” train of thought. Personally speaking, I have so damn many other choices in how I can spend my time, that to think “it’s just a game” would amount to a frivolous expenditure of my time and would underscore the lack of appreciation that I have for my life. Hopefully I just pulled you back into my camp. haha.

  18. Ryan if you only have one life and have so many other things to do. Why do you get off your mount for a fucking pile of bones? Cheap ass!

  19. @Yak, that’s hilarious. Listening to your cast now. The thing is, it almost sounds like your server is dying as I write this. DFO is built such that you can enjoy yourself in the world with a high pop or low pop. Just a lot of choices. Coolit is talking about guiding me through a free trial of MO. I say you join me when I fire up, and we go through 14 days together with Coolit holding thine cock. (kalari… you are definitely welcome to join too… I’d encourage it :) )

  20. Anyone know of a mmo where you have fps combat (no tab targeting)


    When you fire a fireball with Aoe towards someone, if he ducks behind a tree, he will not be hurt


    Where killing mobs is exciting, regarless of mob. As you can get jumped at any moment because of pvp

    Where friendship, enemies, tactics, politics matters.

    Except Darkfall. If there is any other please post it so i can try it =)

  21. @ray ray: Are you trying to get into my pants? 😀 Perfect points! Going to read that as a bed time story to my children.

  22. Mortal online is doing a free trial? I know there is passion left in me I think last year took the wind out of my sails though. Just got tired of fan boys and girls who think their game companies can do no wrong. Then going “its just a game!” when someone speaks up about things they could and should be doing.

    I hate that anytime you speak up against something simple like a game lacking a decent chat system, or pvp mode or dealing with exploits and cheating that your some how against the company making money. And oh lord if you talk about them using micro transactions your the devil incarnate. It just got tiring and my spirit was kind of low but now that I am gaming again I know the old me will be back and more trouble then ever lol.

  23. @Kalari: yeah, free trial… no credit card required – http://www.mortalonline.com

    RE wind from your sails… the truth is, after a year like you had I know what you mean. When I lost my younger sister nothing appealed to me; the way I saw some things changed quite a bit.

  24. I may give that a try… Oh wait, I just read the most recent patch notes:

    13:2 Genitalia Enhancement: You can now change out your male genitalia textures with hi-res textures.

    Changed my mind.

  25. @Ryan Hmmm….. MO trial……I will give this game some serious thought. If I do end up playing the trial, we should do a betting pool how many days until I rage quit. LMAO

  26. Coolit is going to hold my hand. You ought to get in on that. Thinking about beginning Friday. OR might do the Eve free trial first. Not sure… feeling MO though.

  27. Play EvE so you can know exactly what I mean. If y’all go in on MO, I’m definitely down. I just can’t play around my wife or she will think I’m watching gay porn.

  28. @Ryan Some how to managed to work your magic mind voodoo on me. I downloaded MO and running the patcher now before going to bed. God damn you for getting inside my head! LOL

  29. @Yak: damnit! If had had to work my voodoo once it’d be to get you to do more dfo with me :) MO, last time I played pissed me off. But there’s also some neat things in the game (no IHM, not referring to pixel dong). This will be fun regardless!

  30. I spoke with wretched last night and he has another friend playing. So we could have a good showing. Yak I agree with Ryan you would like Darkfall more than Mortal, but jump in. You get three characters per account and you need to decide what you want to do with them before you make you first toon. There are different races at will dictate your max stats. ie, if you want to make a fighter you will need max str, but different races and age will determine if you are going to be fast or have more hit points. It’s fucking confusing so its best to do your homework. You can max a characters skills in a few weeks. It will take forever to master the game though.

    Keep in mind this game is a work in progress there are elements that are kinda broken. Go in knowing this and you will have a better time.

  31. Don’t dismiss AC if all you played was AC2.

    AC1 was a fantastic game. It ranks up there with my all time top pvp MMO list. A great skilled based combat system while still keeping tab targeting. Plus a fantastic sandbox with unlimited content, an MONTHLY Content an bug fixing patches. Every single month.

    UO is still #1. Aside from the mage counter spell combat, it was lackluster pvp, but a sandbox experience unmatched.

    DF is the best pvp combat engine to date, but not a sandbox at all like UO was. It’s pretty much just a persistent FPS with an item/char grind.

    Shadowbane was the best political an town building/siege warfare game. Also the greatest character diversity.

    Outside of those games, I haven’t found anything else enjoyable in the MMO world.

    All those need to have sex, an create an uber sandbox game, with fluid an smooth skill based FPS pvp. Plus terraforming an real world building and control in the form of taxation an rulership over others in your realm.

    I dream for this game, but nothing ever encompasses all those elements, it’s always strong on one, an lackluster on the others.

    If you wanna learn about any of those games hit me up, I have multiple years in all of them, except MO, which I have only recently really started playing.

    I also agree with you on the DF one char per acc aspect an how it is. I enjoyed being able to do whatever I wanted on the same char. It was also nice having one reputation, unless you paid an additional 15 bux a month. In most MMORPG games, I have multiple accounts, with multiple characters, because I like to experience ALL aspects of the game. Darkfall enabled me to put the SAME amount of time I did building all those chars in other games, on ONE guy, with one reputation that stuck with him from day one. I enjoyed it like that.

    Also yes, DF is ultimate freedom. I think it’s going the wrong way now though. It seems as if the developers weren’t sure if they wanted a UO game, or a FPS pvp game. Now they are kinda stuck in the middle, but it seems like they are going more for the quick action pvp, an not adding any sand to the box.

    Anyways, keep up the podcasting.

  32. @Junkoe those are some solid comments that I almost completely agree with. While I liked UO, I still feel like it was overrated. Would definitely be nice to get you on a cast so that you can school me on this topic. Plus I’d like to talk more about AC1 and some of your other points; we can also comare Mortal Online notes. If you’re interested, just let me know if I ought to hit you up on the email you listed with your post.

    @ray ray: Yeah, sounds like he definitely has some articulated thoughts to share!

  33. I have come to realize that the biggest issue with some Sandbox games, is not the fact that you lose your loot on it’s it’s the design of the UI, I logged into MO and I sware to fucking god they could design graphics UI to save their life. I don’t understand why they don’t copy the default UI layout that EQ set forth like in almost every MMO. The interface is cumbersome, controls are clunky. The graphics look very beta and unpolished. Again I feel like it’s the freedom to do nothing. Having to hold Z while you click the mouse, WTF. I can honestly say that it’s a scam that they are charging people for an per-alpha type game. I have no desire to log into it every again. This is what turns everyone off. Hell, ever crappy little F2P games have spit and polish on their interface and basic movement mechanics. If there is a Sandbox game that can pull this off, hell I can game for it!

  34. @Yak: that is a solid point. Likewise I’ve heard people slam DFO for that very same reason (even though I believe darkfall’s ui is more intuitive by comparison). I disagree with the graphics comment though.

  35. I would be lying to you if I didn’t feel the same way about DFO. For some reason I thought that MO would be different. If there is an Sandox out there that has the basic UI and controls setup to current MMO standards, then I am all for it. Also, having some type of basic polished look would be great. AM I asking too much for the DEV’s of these games to understand MMO 101?

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